This week my husband and I are celebrating our 15th anniversary.
My marriage has been for me a catalyst of change, renewal, and growth. The vows we made at the beginning of our marriage were to endeavor to establish an equal union…a partnership that values and empowers both participants, resulting in increased intimacy, security, and affection. The process of achieving these goals is ongoing. It is an ever-repeating cycle of making mistakes, admitting them, expressing desire for change, and taking action towards that change.
When we approach this commitment with humility and mutual respect we experience unimaginable results. When we can love each other for who we are but also inspire each other to be more, we grant each other a kind of freedom that is difficult to experience on our own as individuals. When we let fear prevent us from committing to that level of vulnerability we delay the process and damage the trust that has been established.
My experience with conflict and growth in marriage helps me comprehend conflict and change within our society.
When this nation was founded our government made a vow to its citizens, to endeavor for freedom and equality for all. It has been the ongoing work of the government partnered with its citizens to keep striving towards that goal. Too often on this journey, fear has prevented growth and progress and caused those in positions of power to turn to brutality and suppression instead.
The protests and demonstrations that are going on right now are the nation’s injured citizens crying out for recognition of ongoing atrocities, and calling for change. How our government responds and how we as individuals choose to participate will determine how much change can effectively happen. Ignoring the conflict will not resolve it. Responding with force will not silence the voices.
There is no freedom without equality. There is no equality without honest, redemptive conflict. We are fortunate to be granted these messages and requests. It means we have an opportunity to bring our most humble selves to the conversation, to face our wrongs, and take action towards a brighter future. If we can manage to do that I hope and believe that we will experience an unimaginable new level of collective freedom.
Angie Gustafson 